


Freaky Sex Soap

by SkadiLothbrok



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Fun, Humour, Implied/Referenced Sex, Magic, Soap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkadiLothbrok/pseuds/SkadiLothbrok
Summary: After you struggle to get the smell of swamp off of you, Yen offers you some soap. Problem is, this soap has certain other properties.
Relationships: Eskel (The Witcher)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Freaky Sex Soap

You'd always been more of a black sheep in Kaer Morhen but even so people didn't give you a fair viewing. I mean, you weren't as much of a prick as Lambert was at least. And you kept out of trouble a lot more than Geralt did.   
Eskel was the golden boy and for reasons you didn't fully understand, that drove you round the bend. 

"Why is it always you Y/n?" Vesemir asked as he shook his head at you.

"What? It could've happened to anyone, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time" you defended.

"Story of your life right" Lambert laughed from beside you. Sparing just enough time to shoot him a glare you fought the urge to throw something at him. 

"Can we tell her off after she takes a bath" Eskel smirked whilst making a show of covering his nose. Regardless of the fact that you did stink of the swamp you'd been dropped into, his actions irritated you.

Vesemir shook his head at your two fellow wolves before turning to walk away "one of these days you'll learn to keep out of trouble Y/n". You opened and closed your mouth a few times trying to come up with a retort but couldn't come up with one before Vesemir had already left the room.

"Eskel's right" Lambert chirped up once again "you really do stink". Turning and launching yourself at him you pinned him to the ground, deliberately wiping as much swamp on him as you could. He squirmed as he tried to free himself "Eskel help" he tried. 

"I'm not coming near that stink" Eskel answered as he leaned against the table with arms across his chest. 

"You already stink enough" you told him as you wiped one more handful of swamp over Lambert before standing up and freeing him. He was quick to get to his feet and step away from you, grimacing as he noticed how much crap he was now covered in.

"Mature" Eskel leveled you with a pointed look "don't worry, you two might grow up one of these days".

"Whatever" you flagged him before turning and heading to your room for a much needed bath. It always irritated you when Eskel spoke to you like a child. Just because he and Geralt were older than you and Lambert didn't mean you were children. Gods, how did that man irritate you in so many ways!

The following morning you were still catching traces of swamp smell every now and then. If Lambert's pouting face as he spooned his breakfast into his mouth was anything to go by, he was having the same problem. "I hate you" he shot out when he watched you enter the kitchen. You grinned in response.

"What are you two falling out over this time?" Geralt asked from where he was sat with Yen.

"Y/n made me smell like swamp and now the smell won't go away, that's what" Lambert complained. You laughed at his whining as you grabbed yourself some food.

"I have some herbal soaps that might help" Yen offered up with a shrug.

"What, so I can either smell swampy or girly? Great" Lambert continued with his sour mood.

"Poor Lambert" you mocked him before turning to Yen "I'll take some of that soap if you don't mind". The rest of your breakfast was spent winding Lambert up before you headed back up to your room. Yen dropped by briefly to hand you the soap and you wasted no time in drawing yourself another bath, sighing as the floral scent filled your nose.

After your bath you were finally free of the swamp smell and able to go about your daily business. Making your way down to the courtyard you passed Yen and thanked her. Eskel was already outside training and you debated coming back later. 'Don't be stupid' you told yourself before continuing.

When you were closer to him, you expected Eskel to make some sort of comment but he stayed oddly quiet. Not dwelling on it, you grabbed your sword and began working through some moves. Once finished you turned to make your way over to one of the training dummies only to find Eskel right up close.

He had a strange sort of glaze to his eyes as he looked at you and you were about to ask if he was okay before he did something even stranger. He kissed you. "Eskel" you pushed against his chest slightly only to have him grab your hips and push your back against the wall. In that moment you felt a strange sort of fog clouding your own thoughts before it stopped mattering and you kissed Eskel back just as eagerly.

\---

Opening your eyes you blinked a few times, adjusting to the light that shone over you. As you moved to sit up you felt something laying over your stomach. In the same moment that you realised that you were completely naked, you recognised Eskel lay beside you completely naked too. "What the fuck?" you asked in shock, making Eskel stir next to you. As he awoke you watched confusion flicker over his own features. 

"What-Y/n?" he asked in shock "did we?"

"I don't" you drifted off as you pressed a hand to your head and tried to remember what had happened. You'd been training that was all. And then Eskel was there with a glassy look on his face and... 

"Where are my clothes?" Eskel asked as he stood and searched around for his clothes. Snapping yourself from your daze you started to do the same. The two of you had dressed in silence before heading inside.

"There they are" Geralt commented as you entered the keep "we thought you'd gone swamping again". When neither of you responded to his joke his face fell slightly and he looked at you both more carefully. "Are you two alright?" Eskel subconsciously scratched at his scars whilst you looked anywhere but at Geralt.

"Oh crap" Yen let out a gasp as she realised something nobody else seemed to know "did you two... were you?" She seemed to be putting something together in her mind before covering her mouth in shock.

"What?" Geralt asked "did they what?"

"The soap I gave Y/n this morning" Yen began "it has certain other...properties but I didn't think it would be an issue".

"What!" you realised what she was saying "you gave me freaky sex soap and didn't think it would be an issue! How would that not be an issue Yen?" You barely registered as Geralt's eyes went wide at what you'd just said as you waited for an answer.

"I didn't think it wou- it only works if there's already the desire there" she told you. As she'd said that you found yourself even more shocked. Freaky sex soap was one thing but if there had to be feelings there in the first place did that mean that you and Eskel...

"We should leave you two to talk" Yen stood from her seat and grabbed Geralt to pull him away. You almost wish that she hadn't since now you were left with just Eskel and a whole new line of thought to deal with. Turning to face him you weren't really sure what to say first.

"So..." Eskel drifted off.

"Yeah" you rubbed the back of your neck and looked to the ground "sorry for..." you weren't really sure what to apologise for first.

Eskel stopped you from continuing anyway though when he closed the gap between you and lifted your face to look at him. "Eskel" you frowned, worried that the soap was affecting him again.

"Screw this" he told you before kissing you again.

"Eskel wait" you pushed him back, not wanting to fall under the influence of the magic again "the soap".

"Was great" he smiled at you "but it shouldn't really have taken that much for me to do this".

"Are you saying that you..." 

"I like you Y/n" he finished for you "soap or no soap".

Checking his eyes for any sign of glazing like before and finding none you didn't waste any more time. Pulling him back to you, you kissed him needily.

"What the fuck, gross!" Lambert's voice interrupted you both. He stood in the doorway looking at you both in disgust.

"Get lost Lambert" you shot over to him with a grin before turning your attention back on Eskel. Maybe you didn't hate the golden boy nearly as much as you'd thought you did after all.


End file.
